Memoirs of a Widow
by TamoraSky
Summary: I'm Natasha Alianovna Romanoff by the time I was 15 I had killed 75 people, He was sent to kill me, he made a different call for that I owe him my life.
1. A Different Call

By the time I was fifteen years old I had killed 75 people. I was barely an adult and I was already wanted dead by many. But no one's strength could match mine, I guess that's how I survived the Red Rooms where they took my mind and played with it and took many things from me, most of which were taken by force.

I started killing since I was in the Red Rooms which was ever since I can remember, I started seducing and killing men when I was thirteen years old. I was only 5'4 but if I had make up on I could pull off a 21 year old, which I guess wasn't a blessing. It was easy tricking men, All I needed to do was bat my eyelashes at them, occasionally "stretch" so that they got a good look at my breasts, once they bring me up to their hotel room and just as we are about to take our clothes off I slit his throat and leave without a trace.

But that's a past I've tried to forget about, I'm going to start this story when I was 15 years old, they day I left the Red Rooms in Russia and Joined S.H.I.E.L.D in the United States.

, Russia.

My heart pounded in my chest as I ran down the street. This was an odd sight Black Widow, a master assassin running from a man with a bow and arrows ready to kill me. I made the mistake of running down an alley, I guess I wasn't thinking properly. I was stuck. The man stood at the entrance and exit, while I was backed up to a wall. The gash on my forehead was producing blood that ran down the side of my head. My shoulder length hair clung to my face from all the sweat and blood. The tears in my catsuit let in the cold winter air of Russia on my skin.

I collapse to the ground my legs not being able to stand any longer. The tall man presses an arrow to my neck as if to make my death quick. I close my eyes not wanting to look at the man who was about to disgrace and kill me. He lowers his weapon, I didn't see but I felt the tip of the arrow leave my neck. I opened my eye to see him standing in front of me, putting away his arrow.

"How about if I made you an offer?" He spoke to me in my native language

"What kind?" I asked

"A job, with S.H.I.E.L.D. I see potential in you and I think it would be a waste to kill you." He slightly smiled at me, I responded with only silence and a straight face. The man held his hand out to me, I hesitated to grab it. I thought about what could happen to me, the red rooms could track me down and kill me, however if I didn't take this man's offer even if I did get out of this situation I would be beaten black and blue back at the red rooms. I carefully placed my hand in his. The man helped me up.

"My name is Clinton Francis Barton by the way, most people call me Clint." The man smiled at me. My expression remained neutral.

"What about you? What's your name?" He asked me, still speaking in Russian.

"Natalia Alianovna Romanova." I said without even thinking about what I just told him.

"Do you speak English?" He asks me, I stay silent for a bit

"Little bit." I answer in english, my accent very apparent.

"We'll work on your english." He responded to me in Russian, smiling. I nod, my expression still neutral.

**SHIELD headquarters, USA**

By the next morning I was at SHIELD headquarters being measured, cleaned and questioned. I sat in a small dark room waiting for someone to come in and talk to me. Clint had told me about the man, Nick Fury.

After waiting 5 minutes a tall black bald man entered the room, he wore an eye patch over his left eye.

"Natalia Alianovna Romanova, also known as Black Widow. Had it been my call your cold dead body would be lying on the ground in Russia. But of course Barton dismissed my order of killing you, and so here we are now." He sat across from me and gave me a stern look, I countered his look with my usual neutral expression.

"You've killed 75 people in the last two years. So I should probably have you locked up or put to death." The man said

"Maybe you should." I respond

"But I won't. Because from what I've heard from Barton you have much potential and it would be a waste to kill such a skilled human being. You will train under Barton. We won't send you out into the field for a year or until we know we can trust you. If I find a trace of you contacting the red rooms behind our back I will not hesitate putting a bullet through your skull. Got it?" He asked

"Yes sir." I said my native accent. Nick Fury got up and left without another word. As soon as Fury left Barton entered.

"So all went well?" He asked, I nodded.

"Natalia Alianovna Romanova….the name is too Russian, would you be offended if we changed it?" He asked me.

"No, I wouldn't, new life might as have a new name." I respond

"How about…..Natalie…..Rushman?" Agent Barton asked me, I shook my head…too american.

"Natasha?" He suggested. I though about it for a bit and I decided I could deal with that name.

"Sure….How about…Natasha….Romanoff?" I asked him

"It's your name." He smiled at me.

"Ok Natasha Alianovna Romanoff." I said my new name.

"Alright, Tasha. Let's get to training." He winked at me. He held out his hand to help me up. When I placed my hand on his I felt a cold and metal ring on his left hand.

"You're married?" I asked

"Yeah…..To Barbara Morse, also known as Bobbi or by her professional name Mockingbird." Clint's face slightly fell. I didn't ask anymore questions.

"Come on Tasha, time to start training you." Clint pulled me up and with that we were gone.

I didn't know then that he would become my friend, partner and the only man who I would trust with my life. All I knew was that he made a different call.


	2. Firsts

Barcelona, Spain

I was 16 years old when I went on my first mission. Me and Clint had been sent to Spain to catch Paulo Carriedo, a man who was kidnapping young women and selling them to other men around the world.

My cover was a 19 year old Spanish girl named Francesca Diaz, I was born and raised by my mother in the small village of Almachar, until she died of TB (Tuberculosis) when I was 15.

Clint's cover was a 23 year old French man named Francis Billard, He was born and raised by both parents in Marseilles, France.

It was 5:30 and we were getting ready for a party thing, Clint fixing his hair and me trying to get that ridiculous outfit on me.

"Clint! You have to be kidding me if you're expecting me to wear this thing the whole night." I walked out of the bathroom, wearing a short denim skirt and a red low cut halter top that cut off right before my bellybutton. Clint looked at me and smiled

"You look good." He responded.

"Is my makeup running?" I ask concerned about my thick black eyeliner, not so much about my bright red lipstick.

"No, you look amazing." He laughed. I was able to get back to the bathroom before my face turned the same colour of my shirt. I pinned my breast length hair up into an updo, I was ready. I walked out of the bathroom.

"You look absolutely gorgeous. Here I think you need this to complete the look." Clint walked up to me and placed something in my hair. I walk over to a mirror to see the object he placed in my hair. It was a real white rose.

"Thanks" I managed a smile. It was the first time I really smiled at him, so I wasn't surprised when he just stood there in shock.

"Come, I didn't get dress up for nothing. Let's go." I grabbed his arm and pulled him along.

….

I was only 16, but with that makeup I looked like a 19 year old. I caught Paulo looking at me a couple times and I would steal a few glances at Clint. he wore a pair of denim jeans and a black v-neck shirt. But I had to stop, my job was to bat my eyelashes at Paulo, seduce him or whatever and then get enough information out of him, then let Clint handle the rest.

"Should I buy you a drink?" I heard a accented voice ask me. I turn and Paulo is there. I give him my best flirty smile I can manage.

"Well you can, if you want." I bat my eyelashes

"You stay right here, I'll be back."he says, I smile at the ground. He walks away and that's when I realize he didn't even ask me what I wanted.

I looked around and found Clint on the other side of the room, no doubt he was trying to keep his distance. The two of us made eye contact and Clint just gave me a slight nod as if to say everything was alright. As soon as I turned my back to Clint, Paulo was almost at me with my drink, which was a Agua de Valencia.

_"_ Here _mi bella" _Paulo winked at me, I give him another flirty smile. When i finished my drink, he takes the class away from me and places it on a ledge.

"Meet me upstairs in 5 minutes" Paulo whispered in my ear and with that he left to go talk to other party guests. I looked around for Clint, who was talking to a girl wearing a short blue dress with no sleeves. But Clint looked away for a moment in my direction, I gave him a serious look and he walked away from the girl who was talking to him, so he could come to me.

"What's going on?" He asked me

"He wants me to meet him upstairs in….now 2 minutes" I said

"Alright, I'll be on your tail to make sure nothing will happen." Clint assured me

"Ok. I need to go." I began to walk away

"Я буду рядом" Clint was able to say to me before I left.

…..

There I was upstairs, he was leading me to his bedroom. As soon as we walked into his room, he slammed the door. As soon as he did that I got scared.

"You're a spy aren't you?" Paulo asked me. I silently panicked.

"What are you talking about?" I played dumb. Paulo grabbed me by the arm and threw me on his bed.

"First I'm gonna fuck you and then I'm gonna kill you." Paulo began to straddle me. He was about get to work. When Clint burst in, Paulo had barely time to get off me and punch Clint, instead Clint punched Paulo so hard he fell off me.

Paulo had gotten up by the time Clint got to him. Paulo punched Clint in the jaw, Clint tried to punch Paulo in the stomach but was blocked by Paulo. As the two males scuffled a gunshot was heard. They both stopped, and another shot went off, this time through Paulo's head. Paulo's lifeless body fell to the ground.

"Let's get out of here." Clint grabbed me by the hand and we escaped through the window, before Paulo's gang mates found us over Paulo's dead body because there was no way no one didn't here that gunshot.

Clint and I ran down the street hand-in-hand. We turned down a back alley, both of us out of breath.

"Welcome to SHIELD widow." Clint winked at me

"Thanks Hawk." And with that the two of us began to laugh.

My first mission wasn't that interesting but it was my first mission, and the first time someone gave me something….and it was the first time I fell in love.

…

**Author's Note: Hey thanks for sticking around for this chapter, I know it took forever and the editing isn't that great but thanks for reading it so far. Black Widow's age goes up though out the chapters, so next chapter she'll be 17 in the next chapter and the next chapter will be dramatic and be up soon (Once I write it and edit it) **


	3. Died

**Author's Note: Um…let's just say I'm not very kind to Bobbi in this chapter, sooo….all you Mockingbird fans should…..skip this chapter….I'm pretty sure I butchered everyone's personality but…..Is that ok? I don't know….sorry. **

SHIELD headquarters, USA.

I was sparing with SHIELD recruit, Dean Lawson. It was easy, he was a 19 year old male, I was a 17 year old female so getting him off guard was pretty easy.

"Alright, I give up." Dean put his hands up slowly, no doubt sore from getting his ass kicked continuously.

"Alright." I nod and walk away from him.

"See ya, Tasha." Dean says, I immediately turn around and glare at him.

"No?" Dean asks

"No" I confirm, Dean nods and leaves. I leave the gym and go to the shooting range. I shoot at the target a bunch of times until I run of bullets. I reload the weapon.

'Hey, Tash." I hear Clint's voice. I turn my head to look at him.

"Hey, Clint." I return my focus to the gun, and shoot at the target a couple times.

"Your shot is getting better." He says

"Like you would know." I slightly smile at him.

"Hey, I'm better with a bow." Clint shrugged his shoulders. I shake my head and shoot the rest of the bullets. I place the gun down and turn to Clint.

"You alright?" I ask, I can tell there isn't something right about him.

"It's nothing." Clint waves me off.

"Problems with Bobbi?" I ask

"No, it's fine." Clint smiles. I know he's lying but I don't pry any further. Clint walked away soon afterward.

I was a 17 year old girl, in love with a 22 year old married man, I would never admit it, I was always taught that those who love are weak. I was weak, I couldn't admit it though because I knew my weakness would be used against me.

I sit on my bed in my quarters, reading a book of Russian fairy tales, Clint had gotten me for my first christmas. I was reading a story called _The Wicked Sisters _.

_The story starts with Prince Ivan hears three sister's talking, The older two say that if he married them they would sew him a fantastic shirt; the youngest says she would bear him three sons. The older sisters bribed the younger sister's servant so when she had the children the servants would steal them and hide them. The sisters gave the prince a puppy, then a kitten, then an ordinary child. The Prince, outraged decreed the younger sister should be blinded, put in a barrel in a barrel with the ordinary child, and thrown into the sea, if guilty she would die, but if innocent she would survive. This was done and the Prince married the oldest sister. The substituted child grew by the hour and commanded the barrel to come ashore and open, then commanded a bathhouse to appear, he restored the younger sister's eyesight, and a palace appeared on the arbor. He had the young sister bake three cakes. The three princes appeared and said whoever brought them those cakes and told them of their mother would be their brother. The younger sister lived in the palace with her sons and the child. One day they took care of some monk, who went to Prince Ivan's kingdom and told him of them. He went immediately to the palace and knew them as his wife and sons. The oldest sister was thrown into the sea, and died. _

It seemed a bit extreme being deceived by your own sister's and then thrown into the ocean by your husband and then being found innocent, then your own sister thrown into the sea. It made sense but…still a bit extreme.

Reading these fairy tales made them even more illogical, not all stories end in happy endings.

"Hey Natasha." I hear a female voice, I look up and see Bobbi at the door.

"Bobbi, hi." I say to the older female.

"I need to say something." Bobbi sits beside me on my bed.

"What is it?" I ask, putting my book down.

"I thought maybe I should tell you instead of Clint telling you." Bobbi says, my heart sinks….she's pregnant….Now I would never be able to tell Clint my feelings….not that i was going to tell him.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Me and Clint are…leaving SHIELD." Bobbi breaks the news to me, I don't know what worse Bobbi being pregnant or Clint leaving SHIELD.

"Oh, well good for you." I half smile

"You're ok with this?" Bobbi asks me

"Yeah, it's your guy's life. Why would i care?" I responded

"Natasha…..I know you have feelings for Clint." Bobbi's words came as a shock to me.

"What makes you think that?" I ask her

"Natasha, he's the only one who can call you anything and I see how you look at him, You're in love with him." Bobbi says and gives me a smile.

"Love with for children." I respond emotionless

"Well if you're still reading those stories, you're still a child." Bobbi left right after she said that, I resist the urge to get up and punch her, but i'm able to hold myself back. I close my eyes and breath. I pick the russian fairy tales up again and read the note in the front.

_Tasha, Merry Christmas. I thought that seeing how you didn't have a regular childhood I should give you a book on what you missed out on. From: Clint. _

I smile at his note, it was true I had grown up in the red rooms, training to become a killing machine so the girls who grew up there didn't have fairy tales, no princes, no princesses, no happy endings, the only ending being death if you weren't strong enough.

I fell asleep just looking at his note to me.

The next day I spent most of it in the gym, punching the punching bag, taking my anger out on it. I had been in the gym since 8:00 after changing into a white cotton tank top, a pair of yoga pants and brushing out my hair, that now just cut off at my breasts, which I had put up into a ponytail.

I punched the bag continuously, imagining it being Bobbi. It was already mid-afternoon and I hadn't stopped.

"Doncha think you've punched the poor bag enough?" I hear Clint's voice ask. I turn and look at him, I don't respond, I only turn around and punch the bag harder. I punch again and feel pain in my left hand, ignoring it, I punch again. I groan in pain, Clint knows me too well and grabs me and pulls me away from the punching bag. Clint sits on the ground and I follow him. He unravels my hand from the bindings and looks at my injured hand.

"What's the matter? You never stay in the gym this long only when you're mad." Clint points out. I don't respond I only look at my hand that is placed in his.

"Tasha….Natasha, what's going on?" Clint asks me.

"Why didn't you tell me you are leaving?" I ask, I look into his eyes, he looks in my eyes for only a moment then focuses back on my hand.

"Because I wasn't sure how to tell you." Clint sighed.

"Why?" I ask, he looks back at me.

"Because it was either leave SHIELD or leave Bobbi." Clint starts to examine my hand again.

"Your hand should be fine, just don't punch anything.' Clint sighed as he stood up, I follow him.

"Clint….I'm not telling you to leave Bobbi, but I know for a fact that SHIELD is your home." I walk away from him.

That night I sit in my room, I lie in my bed thinking about what I said to Clint. I hear a knock on my door. I get up and open it, Clint stumbles in and I catch him.

"She left me." Clint says as I bring him to sit on my bed. For the first time I see my partner and best friend cry. I didn't want this to happen, I wanted what was best for him, but as I watch the man I love cry I think a part of me died. This just proved that fairy tales don't end in happiness.


	4. Where it Started

Marseilles, France

It had been 1 year since Clint and Bobbi divorced. For the first few months Clint was a mess, Just this last year he still loved her I could tell, but he slowly moving on. Me and Clint were sent to Marseilles, we were sent to save Drakov's daughter who had been taken by Unione Corse. I was 18 years old and Clint was 23 years old, France this is where it all started.

Me and Clint sat in a hidden place in the Unione Corse's hideout, we snuck in through the air vents. Drakov's daughter was tied up in the middle of the room. There had been some definite beating, but no signs of any sexual abusing.

"Tasha, can you get to the other side?" Clint asks me

"Probably." I nod

"Ok, get to the other side and wait for my signal. Alright?" Clint orders me, I nod and make my way to the other side, silently taking down anyone I come across. I make it to the other side of warehouse and wait for Clint's signal.

My eyes drift from Clint's silhouette, down to the girl. The leader walked away, leaving her with a group of young men.

"Why don't we have our way with her?" I hear one of them ask

"Because we have direct orders from the boss not to. Not until it's absolutely necessary." another pushes the other guy.

"But, Marco. She's pretty cute." Another one walks up to her and lifts her chin, She crying, her tears glistening in the sunlight.

"Fine do whatever you want." The one named Marco said. I looked up back to Clint, who still didn't give me the signal. I hear pants unzip, she screams. I look back to the scene, She's trying desperately trying to break free of her bonds as the guy about to rape her pushes her skirt up. It reminds me of when I was little watching a 15 year old girl being raped and then a few months before meeting Clint having my virginity stolen from me. I couldn't let it happen, not while I was there and can prevent it.

I ignore Clint's orders and act. I take out my gun and carefully aim it to the guy who was going to rape her. I shoot him through the head, he falls to the ground. The rest of the group looks up at where I'm standing. I jump to the level below me, my guns at the ready. As soon as my feet hit the ground I shoot another guy. I punch one of them. I see an arrow hit one guy in the chest. I kick another guy in the chest and then shoot another one in the forehead. I grab the arrow from the corpse's chest and run to the girl. I hear a man cursing at me in french, but it is cut off by a loud break. I turn my head, only to find Clint standing over the man's dead body. I saw at Drakov's daughter's bonds and cut her free. I turn back to Clint. A group of men are running toward us. Clint shoots an arrow, it detonates, creating a bright flash that causes the old warehouse to collapse on the group of men. Clint, Drakov's daughter and myself run out before the warehouse collapses on us. Clint and the girl get out, I'm not as fortunate. The building crumbles, the last thing I remember is Clint calling out my name.

...

I wake up in me and Clint's hotel room. I sit up and look around, Clint's not in the room. I lie back down and 5 minutes later Clint walks into the room.

"How are you?" Clint asks, not making eye contact.

"I'm fine. What happened?" I ask

"The warehouse fell, you got caught in it. I dug you out of the rubble. The girl is fine, she's being returned to her home." Clint sat on the bed.

"Thanks." I sit back up and sit next to him. Clint gets up and doesn't respond to me.

"I'm not sure but are you a bit cross with me?" I ask

"Not just a bit. I am very cross. Do you realize you could of died? Can you imagine how much trouble you could of been in? How much trouble you will be in?" Clint raised his voice.

"I know Fury will be pissed. Why is it any business of yours? He'll be pissed at me not you." I can't help but raise my voice back.

"Because you're my best friend, my partner...and the women I love. I can't lose you." As soon as Clint said said that I froze.

"You what?" I ask, not sure whether if I heard what he said correctly.

"I love you. I know I shouldn't because me and Bobbi had a divorce last year, but through out all you've done for me I couldn't help but fall more in love with you" He sighs, he's about to say something else but I press my lips against his. I can tell he is a bit confused but he starts to kiss me back. He brings his hands up onto my head burying his hands in my long red wavy hair. We break apart, we smile at each other and we begin to kiss again. Next thing I know Clint's on me, he's peeling off my clothes and I'm peeling off his clothes. It's not my first time and it's definitely not his first time.

We lay in bed, both naked as the day we were born. We lay in each others arms, our foreheads touching. His strong arm around me, I get the feeling as if he's protecting me. My arms are resting on his chest. We don't say we love each other, we don't need to. We both know we love one another.

**Author's note: I know I'm sorry for butchering their personalities…..badly…..xD Um…..next chapter will be Budapest! **


	5. We Remember it Differently

Budapest, Hungary

We were sent to Budapest to take care of some mobsters who were in the trafficking business. It was just me and Clint again. It had been 2 years since Marseilles and no one knew about our relationship, except Coulson and Lawson. I was now 20 years old and Clint was 25 years old, it had been 5 years since Clint saved me and the years had been flying by.

Me and Clint had gotten caught in a crossfire after trying to break in the base. We were sneaking though the base, one of the men caught a flash of my red hair and yelled. They began to shoot at us and here we are.

I was backed up against a wall, Clint is next to me. I peep around the corner and shoot a couple times. Clint shoots an arrow and we hear an explosion.

"We're outnumbered." I point out, Clint looks at me and grabs my hand.

"We are." Clint responds gravely, we both know we're dead there was no way out of this.

"Tasha?" Clint asks, he squeezes my hand tightly

"Yeah?" I respond, squeezing his hand back.

"Will you marry me?" He asked, I look at him, he looks at me.

"Yes, I'll marry you." I respond, we share a quick kiss before letting go of each other's hands and expose ourselves to the enemy. A bullet grazes my cheek, then my arm. Blood streams down my face as I shoot. I shoot one guy through the head, another guy in chest. Clint shoots his last arrow and pulls out a gun. I don't know whether it was a miracle or just luck because right as me and Clint almost died, SHIELD agents took over the building. The mobsters had been taken in and me and Clint were safe.

Lawson sits beside me as he patches me up.

"You're very lucky we came before you guys died." Lawson laughed, I look at him sternly

"Shut up. Where is Clint?" I ask, Lawson smiles at me

"He wondered off. Go find him." Lawson pointed in the direction Clint apparently went in. I followed the direction Lawson had pointed in only to find Clint sitting on the ground, his knees tucked up and his head resting on them. I don't say anything and I sit next to him. He looks at me and smiles.

"That was close." He sighs

"Yeah it was" I sigh as well. It's silent between us for a bit.

"Hey Tasha, that question I asked you. I meant it, I want to marry you." Clint looked at me, dead in the eye. I'm silent, waiting for me to make up my mind. I love Clint, I want to marry him, but are we really the marrying type?

"Clint…..My answer earlier…..I meant it as well. I want to marry you too." I did, I meant it. I wanted to marry Clint. We couldn't conceive children he knew that and so there wouldn't be a problem there. It was final we were going to marry. Clint smiled at me and kissed me.

"Coulson! found them!" I didn't hear Lawson approach us until he yelled. Me and Clint break apart and stand up.

"There you two are. The Helicarrier will be taking off in 45 minutes." Coulson says, Clint grabs my hand.

"Coulson, Lawson. Me and Tasha decided to marry, in Budapest. Will you be our witnesses?" Clint asks. The two look shocked, I'm a bit shocked as well. But Coulson's look of shock turns into a smile.

I stand in a small chapel in Budapest with three other people. Lawson and Coulson as me and Clint's witnesses. We stand at the alter the priest speaking, but we aren't listening only staring at each other. The bride and groom both bruised and bloodied, both still dressed in their uniform. When I hear the priest speak his final words, I don't hesitate to kiss Clint and neither does Clint.

We spend our wedding night on a helicarrier, no sex, no kissing, the only touching is me and Clint's pinkies locked, something so small no one would notice. Our wedding wasn't huge. There was no white dress, no tux, there wasn't 400 people there, no diamond ring, no long term engagement. . But to me and Clint it was special. We had only started dating two years ago, but to both of us those two years seemed like an eternity. We both remember Budapest differently, but what's important is that we both remember it.

**Author's note: Sooo I know you're all probably like "What only chapter 5 and they are already getting married?" Yeah, but just to warn you, This story halfway finished. If you haven't noticed the pattern every chapter I write takes place in a year of the last one (with the exception of this one and a couple others coming up) soooo yeah. Hint for he next chapter " I would do whatever I wanted to do, with whomever I wanted to." Oh and for my most famous quotes….sorry for the bad editing….**


	6. Iron Man 2

SHIELD headquarters, USA

Clint had made me late for a meeting with Fury, by 10 minutes. When I had gotten myself cleaned up and gotten my uniform on, Clint wrapped his arms around me trying to get me to stay for just a bit longer. I walk to the board room, Coulson standing out of the doors.

"Sorry I'm late, I had problems with the shower." I lie. Phil gives me a look as if he was saying "Bullshit."

"Your showing something." He looks to my neck. I look down and find my silver chain with a gold ring popping out. I tuck it in my cleavage so Fury wouldn't see it.

"Thanks." I manage to say before Coulson opens the door.

"You're late, Agent Romanoff." Fury says as soon as I walk in the room.

"Sorry sir." I apologize. I sit in the seat closest to me.

"You wanted to talk to me sir?" I asked, nervous he was going to ask about Clint and I. I've been pretty sure Fury has been suspicious ever since that one time when he yelled at Clint, saying "Agent Barton!" and I responded.

"Yes, Agent Romanoff. I need someone to go undercover to asses Mr. Stark for the Avengers initiative." When Fury said that I was so pleased that he wasn't asking about Clint and I.

"Yes sir. I'll tell Barton about our assignment." I'm about to get up when Fury stops me

"Romanoff, I'm assigning Clint to a different mission. You'll be doing this one solo. Three weeks in Malibu, you will cover as Pepper Potts' assistant. You will be going under the name of Natalie Rushman, Coulson will give you the specifics on the way." Fury told me some of the details.

This wasn't my first solo mission, When I was 18 I was sent to Tokyo under the same name of Natalie Rushman. But this was going to be the first solo mission I went on since I married Clint.

I didn't listen much after that, 5 minutes later I was on my way to our quarters, well technically Clint's quarters which I shared with him. I walk into his quarters. I look around and Clint is nowhere to be seen. Sit down on our small bed and open a drawer, I take out a photo that was taken right after Clint and I had gotten married.

"Hey you." I look up and see Clint walk out of the bathroom dressed in his uniform.

"Hey." I half smile, Clint presses a kiss to my forehead.

"What did Fury want?" Clint asks as he sits down next to me.

"He's sending me to Malibu to asses Tony Stark for the Avengers initiative. I'll be gone for three weeks." I say, I don't look at him, instead I look at my hands and then up across the room. It's silent between us for a bit.

"When do you leave?" Clint asks, breaking the silence.

"This afternoon." I finally look at him.

"As Natalie Rushman?" Clint asks, I nod he just smiles.

"Do you remember when we were changing your name, I suggested that name and you immediately turned it down." Clint laughed, I just smiled. Clint pulled my head over, so it was resting on his shoulder.

"Love ya, Hawk." I say quietly.

"Love ya too, Spider." He whispers back. He's the only one I allow to call me that.

Me and Clint say our goodbyes in our quarters as husband and wife. We say goodbye as SHIELD partners on the landing platform. A few hours later, I was all made up. My red breast length hair was in curls. I wore a white, short sleeved, low cut blouse, a pair of black pants and black heels and I was walking into Stark's Malibu mansion.

….

I walk into the small yellow bungalow, that was bought by SHILED for missions just like this. I take off the heels that were killing my feet all day. I looked down at my bra which was purposely sticking out of my dress. With much difficulty, I unzip the pink dress. Today had been a mess. Stark decided it would be a good idea to race Circuit de Monaco and some Russian guy decided to attack him.

I walked to the bathroom and ran a brush through my hair. I put it up in a ponytail, I have been so fed up with my hair, there had been so many times I've thought about cutting it. Once I finally got a brush through all of my hair. I change into a pair of plaid boxers and a grey cotton tank top.

I curl up in a chair by the fireplace and begin to read _Return of the King, _the third book in _The Lord of the Rings _series, Clint had bought it for me for Christmas. I look up from the book and stare at the phone. I place the book down and start to dial Clint's number. The phone rings twice and He picks up.

_"Barton." _Clint says into the phone.

"I hope so." I respond

_"Hey."_ He half laughs

"How are things there?" I ask

_"Boring without you. How are things in Malibu?" _Clint asks

"He's been ogling at me, Pepper seems good, nice even." I curl back up on the chair.

_"If he touches you tell him you have a husband you love very much who will gladly put an arrow through his eye socket." _I could tell he wash't joking. I giggle.

"I should go, I have to get up at 6:30 tomorrow. I love you" I say

_"Love you too." _With that we hang up. I sigh and bite the inside of my cheek. I get up and go to bed.

…

I stare at the sight of Stark and Rhodes fighting in the Iron man suits. Pepper said she was on to me and I got nervous. I catch a glimpse of a familiar shadow. I follow the shadow onto the roof.

"Clint?" I call out. The shadow turns around and comes toward me.

"Hey Tash." He smiles

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I walk closer to him.

"Well Coulson, is being sent to New Mexico." Clint responds, I begin to get hope in my heart that Clint will be taking Coulson's place here.

"And Fury sent me here to pick hin up…kinda…sorta." Clint had that face, as if didn't really know why he was in Malibu.

"But why are you at Stark's mansion?" I ask, Clint smiles and places his hand on my cheek.

"Do I need an excuse to see my wife?" Clint asks and presses his lips to mine. We catch a cab back to the bungalow. As soon as we walk in and I lock the doors, Clint and I are all over each other, clothing left trailing behind us. By the time we make it to the bedroom we're totally naked.

…

I wake up laying in Clint's arms, totally naked.

"I missed you." I hear him say as he plants kisses up and down my neck. I giggle. It's these times I allow myself to become a child.

"I missed you too." I get up and put on a red silk robe. The silk is cold against my body, but as soon my body heat kicks in, it's warm. I walk to the kitchen, I make Clint some coffee and I make me some tea. I walk back to my room with our drinks. I hand Clint his coffee, He sits up and grabs the coffee.

"I could get used this." Clint smiles and sips his coffee. I sit down next to him.

"Get used to what?" I ask

"This, us living in a house, having children, both of us getting jobs, leaving SHIELD, just this." I can tell Clint's gone off into his dream state.

"Clint. Please don't go into this." I say, I'm nervous as all hell. Clint snaps back in reality

"Sorry Tash-" I cut him off.

"Clint….I can't give you that and you know that. But yet you still married me, even though you wanted all of that." I couldn't help but feel bad.

"Tash, don't feel bad. I married you because I loved you. I don't care about that you can't bare children or give me the American dream life. I married you because you understood me, because I love you-" I cut him off again

"Clint, stop with the sappy speech." I press my lips to his in order him to shut him up.

"What time is it?" Clint asks

"It's 8:30…OH SHIT." I spring up from the bed almost spilling our beverages.

"What?" Clint asks again.

"Fury wanted me to meet him at some donut shop." I slip off the robe, standing totally naked in the cold room, getting my uniform out. I feel two arms slip around me and I feel Clint's body pressed behind me.

"Stop it, I gotta go." I drop the uniform and I struggle to get out of his grasp. Clint begins to kiss me neck, I feel him starting to suck on my neck, I know he's leaving a hickey.

"Clint, if you don't get off of me in 2 seconds I will flip you and make sure you don't get up for a week." I feel Clint stop and get off. I pulled on my uniform and quickly curled my hair. I run back to the bedroom and press a kiss to Clint's forehead.

"Bye." I smile, as soon as I'm about walk away from him, he grabs me by the wrist and pulls me back on his lap.

"I'm not gonna see you for a month, that's all I get?" He smiles, I shake my head and give him a half smile and I press my lips to his.

…

Clint had been sent to New Mexico and told me about a man who got into SHIELD's hideout who looked like he was on steroids. Working for Tony Stark was hard on me, but nothing I couldn't handle.

I sit at the computer biting my nails. As I try to type out the assessment of Tony Stark and I finally look over the 3 weeks and then the extra 2 weeks and I come to a decision of what to say about Tony Stark. I'm a 21 year old women who is married, an assassin and thinking about what Clint said about us living a domestic life and that scared me, but a part of me wanted that.


	7. After the Battle

I wake up in a cold sweat. I had another nightmare about Clint killing me. I look over at Clint sleeping next to me. I carefully get out of bed so I didn't wake Clint. I walk into the bathroom and I turn on the shower and sink, so that steam rises in the room. I sit on the floor, inhaling the steam coming from the shower and sink. I run my hands through my hair that now reachs the middle of my neck. The door opens and Clint steps in.

"Tash? are you alright?" Clint's voice is raspy from just waking up.

"I'm fine." I sigh, Clint sits next to me and puts his hand over mine.

"Natasha, no you are not. What's going on?" Clint asks again

"I continue to think about what Loki said to me about you. It haunts me everyday." My voice has no emotion, I just stare forward.

"I know the feeling. Tash, I killed agents and almost killed you. Who knows one of the agents I could of killed was Lawson." When he said that, I was quiet, thinking of something to say. It was true though, Lawson had been killed when Loki's men attacked the SHIELD helicarrier.

"Clint that wasn't you, it was Loki controlling you." I look at him

"I know Tash, but just because I wasn't in my right mind I still did it." Things became silent between us for a while. I take Clint's hand in mine.

"We'll get through this together" Was all I could think of to say. Clint tightens his grip around my hand. We look at each other and smile. 5 minutes later we turned off the sink and the shower and went back to bed. Clint wraps his arms around me tightly as we lay down.

"Love ya Tash." He whispers into my hair.

"Love ya too Clint." I whisper back.

…

I pull out the black dress I wore when I found out Clint had been compromised. I unzip the back and pull it over my body. I put on a pair of sensible shoes and put on a bit of eye liner. I stare at myself in the mirror, my thoughts buzzing about. Stark had allowed us to stay in the Stark tower after he finished remodelling it. I check the weather on my phone. It's +20 and sunny. It shouldn't be sunny, not for such a grim day, it should be raining.

"Nat, it's time." Clint walks in behind me, wearing a black suit and a red tie. I can tell he's thinking about what was to come.

…..

We sit in front of the body in the church. We were counted as family. Clint and I hold each other's hands, we both wear our wedding rings on out fingers. Neither of us cry, no emotion at all, we don't even sing. We go to the burial sight. I look across at the rest of the team. Steve wears a black suit with a blue tie, Tony wears a plain black shirt and black pants, Pepper wears a modest dress and her usual heels, Thor is off planet and was not at the funeral, and Bruce wears a black button up shirt and black dress pants.

I look to the ground and find a bit of dirt. Once they've lowered the coffin, I walk up to it and throw in the dirt, Clint follows my actions, then Tony, then Steve, then Bruce, and then Pepper.

Steve had put Coulson's Captain America cards in the coffin, all signed. I put in a letter.

_"Phil, as you know I'm bad with this sentiment stuff, but I just wanted to say thank you. You are the second man I trusted my life with (the first one being Clint) I always could rely on you. You never told anyone about me and Clint's marriage or our relationship and you probably saved my ass a lot from being fired. Coulson….you were not just my handler, but also my friend, and you are the closest thing I've had to being a father. Thank you for everything. Natasha."_

During the lunch after Coulson's funeral, Clint talked with Tony and Pepper. I stood alone, lost in my thoughts. I felt a hand touch my shoulder, which made me come back into reality. I looked at the person who had placed their hand on me. It was Fury.

"Director." I said

"Agent Romanoff." He responded, it was silent between us. Fury was the one to break the silence.

"Or should I say Agent Barton." As soon as he said that, I looked at him.

"How did you know?" I asked

"It wasn't that hard to figure out, and also Agent Coulson had told me"

"Sir, Barton and I were going to tell you." I lied

"No you weren't. I know you a lot better then you think I do." Fury spoke, I stayed silent.

"Oh and this is for you." He handed me a letter.

"It's from Coulson." As soon as he said that, he left me. I opened the letter and began to read it.

_"Natasha, If you're reading this it means…well you know what it means. Anyway, sorry I told Fury about you and Barton but it had to be done. Natasha, I've seen you grow over these years from being a 15 year old into a 23 year old women…I'm glad I've had the privilege of knowing you. I never had any children, but to me you were like a daughter. When you married Barton I felt that pride of any father should when his daughter got married. Thank you Natasha, for trusting me." _

I walk away, disappearing from the crowd of people so that they don't see me, the Black Widow cry.


	8. All the Good Times

We had moved into the Stark tower once Stark remodelled it. Stark had given Clint and I different rooms, because he suspected something was going on between me and Clint but could never prove anything.

When Stark and Pepper told us they were engaged, it wasn't a surprise to any of us. It was 9 months since Stark and Pepper's engagement and 1 month until their wedding, they still needed to set the date.

I was making myself tea, Clint was sitting on the sofa, Bruce, Steve, Thor and Jane sat at the table, and Stark and Pepper were arguing.

"No, we are not getting married on christmas." Pepper shook her head.

"But come on Pepper, how romantic would that be" Stark said, obviously wanted to get married on Christmas day. Pepper sat down on the love seat, across from the sofa that Clint was sitting on. Stark sat down next to her.

"When I got married there was none of this hassle, Bobbi and I both decided to marry a year after I proposed…we were married for 3 years and then we divorced and when me and Tasha married, it was a 30 minute engagement and a 5 minute ceremony with 2 people as our guests." When Clint had said that, the whole room went silent.

Almost at the same time everyone looked at me. I put my tea bag in the sink and walk to Clint.

"I just told everyone in this room we're married didn't I?" Clint realized.

"Yes you did." I sigh

"I KNEW IT!" Tony jumps up. I glare directly at Stark.

"Stark, shut up or you won't live to see your wedding day." I say to Tony, not breaking my glaring. Stark sits back down next to Pepper.

"How long?" Jane asks

"4 years now, I was 25 and Tasha was 20." Clint answers.

"Sorry Tash." Clint apologizes, I roll my eyes and smile. I unclasp the chain around my neck and take the wedding ring off it and place the ring on my finger. Clint follows my actions and places the wedding ring around his finger. Clint leans over and kisses my cheek. Stark sits across from us his mouth gaping open.

"Stark you suspected something was going on, don't be too surprised." I glare.

"I know it's a shock seeing how I proved it….although I know for a fact that Legolas and Spider were hooking up. I asked Jarvis where the Spider was and he responded with she was in Legolas' quarters." Stark vaguely smiled, Pepper nudged him in the ribs, Thor sat there not quite sure of what it meant, Jane got up and poured some more coffee, Steve and Bruce sat there uncomfortably….actually…so did me and Clint.

I took a sip of my tea and I suddenly got a queasy feeling in my stomach.

"You ok?" Clint asks me, I nod and after that I get up and run to the bathroom. I throw up for five minutes and then Clint walks in.

"Tash, are you ok?" Clint asks me, obviously concerned.

"I'm fine, I probably just gave myself food poisoning from the eggs I made myself this morning." I get up, flush the toilet and brush my teeth. During all of this, Clint still stays with me. I put away my toothbrush and as soon as I'm about to walk out, Clint grabbed my wrist and pulled me to his chest. Clint wraps his arms around me.

"You sure your ok?" Clint asks.

"I'm fine Clint." I pull away from Clint.

"Alright." Clint kisses me on the lips and lets me go. I walk out of the bathroom with a smile on my face, but nervousness building up in my stomach….nope that's just the reversing food.

…..

In the end Stark and Pepper had gotten married on Christmas day. When Pepper asked me to be her maid of honour I was surprised, I thought she was going to ask her sister Beatrice to be her maid of honour. The wedding was beautiful. Pepper wore a simple white wedding dress, it was sleeveless dress with a light green sash tied in a loose bow in the front. Us bridesmaids, Me, Beatrice and Jane wore dark purple halter top dresses that cut off at our knees. Stark's best man was Lt James Rhodes, followed by Bruce and Steve. They all wore suits, with the exception of Rhodes who wore his uniform. Clint and Thor sat in the pews with the other 150 people.

The reception was at the tower. Stark and Pepper's first dance was to _Ride on _by AC/DC. Through out the night I had danced with Bruce once, and Steve a couple times, but not with Clint, not yet and I had to talk to him. I was slow dancing with Steve.

"How are things Cap?" I ask him

"They are fine, thank you for asking Ma'am" Steve smiled at me, I smiled back at him. A hand lands on Steve's shoulder.

"May I dance with my wife?" Clint asks, Steve steps away

"Of course." Steve smiles and steps away from me and allows Clint to fill in the gap. Me and Clint begins to slow dance with me. I rest my head on his shoulder.

"Clint, I wanna talk to you about something…." I say.

"What is it Tash?" Clint asks. I'm silent for moment of hesitation.

"Clint….I'm pregnant." Clint stops dancing and pulls away.

"Tash…you're pregnant? How? I though you couldn't get pregnant." Clint looks at me straight in the eye.

"Well….tell that to the fetus that's growing in me." Was what I responded with. Clint half smiled and kissed me on the forehead.

I was only 24 and pregnant with a child that shouldn't of existed. But it was me and Clint's child, half of me and half of Clint. I didn't know if we could handle a child, but somehow we would manage. I was 24 years old and Clint was 29 years old and we were going to be fine…I hope.

**Author's note: Hey guys, thanks so much for sticking around for this long, you have no idea how much this means to me (honestly). Anyway the story is almost done, but I'm thinking of a sequel…possibly but I won't decide that until I'm finished this one. Sorry for the bad editing. **


	9. Second Time

**Authors note: Hi guys, I just want to explain that this chapter takes place about 5 months after Tony and Pepper's wedding and Natasha telling Clint about the pregnancy. **

I sit at the edge of me and Clint's bed, having a difficult time getting up. This was sad Black Widow, master assassin, having problems getting out of bed because of a baby growing inside of me. I sigh and with much difficulty I get up. I waddle my way over to the dresser and get my clothes. I pull out a red t shirt sweater type thing and a pair of maternity jeans. Once my clothes are on, I walk out of me and Clint's room. I go to the table and sit at the only vacant chair. I place my hand on my waist and slowly sit down. I slowly lean back and place my hands on my baby bump.

"Wow, look at this Black Widow, a master assassin is almost immobilized by a baby." Stark laughs, I glare at him. He all of a sudden stops laughing and continues to drink…whatever the hell he drinks in that water bottle.

"Have you guys though of any names?" Pepper asks me.

"No, Clint and I haven't had that chance to talk about names. We'll get around to it." I look down at the bump.

"When does Clint get back from Prague?" Steve asks as he sips his coffee.

"The 13th." That's all I say, I don't express my excitement. Thor changes the subject and Steve, Stark, and Bruce all get in a conversation. Pepper and I just smile at each other. I let out a gasp out of surprise.

"Lady Natasha, are you ok?" Thor asks me, I nod.

"The baby just kicked didn't it?" Bruce asks

"Yeah." I half laugh, half sigh. It was going to take some more time to get used to the life form growing inside me. After about half an hour Bruce and Steve go the lab, Thor had left the planet, and Steve had gone down to the gym. Pepper gets up and grabs some paper from the counter and comes and sits back down at the table. It's silent between the two of us for awhile.

"How do you feel about becoming a parent?" Pepper asks me, breaking the silence

"How I feel? When I first found out I was pregnant I was terrified, never in my life did I want kids and I didn't think I could have children, and before I told Clint I wasn't excited about it….but once I told Clint and he seemed happy about it…I was happy about it too." I half smile as my eyes drift down to the thing living inside of me. Pepper smiled, as if she was smiling out of relief.

"Pepper, Are you pregnant?" I ask my friend.

"Yes, I am. I haven't told Tony yet. But soon I will." Pepper says.

"When are you due?" I ask Pepper.

"Five months after you." Pepper responds.

"Well….I wish you luck." I half smile at my friend.

I was happy that I wasn't going to be the only one having a baby and that the Barton baby will have another kid his age to be with…even if it is a Stark baby, thank god that baby will have half of Potts.

…

I sit on the couch alone. I had taken maternity leave from SHIELD after Fury insisted that I take it off. He would cover for me telling the council that I had gone to Australia for a mission for a while. Everyone had left the tower, I was alone. Clint was still in Prague and would be home in 2 days. I rub the bump that held what Clint and I had made.

"I know you can hear me. Do you want to hear a story?" I ask that baby, I feel it kick as if it was saying yes.

"Lets start here. A while back, there was this little girl her innocence had been robbed from her and she was alone, except there was another girl who was 5 years older than the little girl and the older girl took care of the little girl. When the older girl was 15, she was put up to fight against the other 15 year olds….the older girl never came out of that room. The little girl was left alone." I stop and take a moment to think about Anastasia.

"Anyway the little girl grew to be 15 and was put up against a lot of other girls, the little girl became the victor and was put to work for the secret organization. she was sent to assassinate a cabinet minister, A man stopped her and was prepared to kill her, she ran from him, He caught up and gave her a second chance at life. She took it. She fell in love with him and later on he fell in love with her. They married and they lived happily ever after. Wanna know something kiddo? That little girl was Me, your mother and that man who gave her a second chance is your Father and their happy ending…is probably you." I smile and think about the family I have and the family which was yet to come.

"I'm glad they lived happily ever after." I hear a voice say. I turn around.

"Clint" I smile, I'm surprised as well. He came home 2 days early. I'm about to get up and go to him.

"Here I'll come to you." Clint laughed and came to me. As soon as Clint sits down, I kiss him. He places his hands on the baby, my hands are buried in his short dirty blonde hair. We pulled apart from each other. Clint looks down at our child and kisses the baby.

"I haven't seen you in 2 1/2 months, you haven't called me in 1 month…..I almost thought you abandoned me." I glared at him. Clint starts to chuckle.

"I refuse to ever leave you." Clint places his hand on my cheek. I slightly smile.

"I love you Hawk." I whisper.

"Love you too Tash." He kissed me again.

…..

Once Clint and I had told the team we were expecting, Stark insisted that they put a medical wing in the Stark tower. So I sit in the medical wing of Stark tower with Clint, waiting for Bruce to show up for the ultrasound.

"Ok, Shall we start?" Bruce walks in. I just nod.

" Tash, stop being so nervous." Clint smiled and kisses me on the temple. I lean back on the bed…chair…thingy. I lift up my shirt and wait for Bruce to put the ultrasound gel on my abdomen. On the screen I see our baby. My mouth hangs open, getting a good look at our baby.

"That's the head and the arm and well.. I'm sure you figure the rest out." Bruce kinda smiles.

"Can we have a moment Bruce?" Clint asks, Bruce nods and leaves the room.

"That's….our baby…." I say, a bit shocked.

"Yes…..it is our baby." Clint wraps his arm around me. I cover my mouth and tears fall from my eyes. I was so happy, and for the second time I, Natasha Alianovna Romanoff fell in love.

**Author's note: So I'm sad to say this but….this is the second last chapter. =( I'm having a great time writing this anyway I'll do the mushy speech at the end of the next chapter and I'm sorry if moving around while your 5 months pregnant doesn't happen….I've never been pregnant before so I wouldn't know. **


	10. Loved and Loved in Return

I hated being on maternity leave, there was nothing to do. But luckily any day now the baby was due. I was thinking about doing less field work, I don't know what Clint's plans are but how I feel about this is that I don't want our baby growing up without parents, like Clint and I did.

I sit on the couch in a black maternity tie-belt Jersey dress. With much difficulty I get up. I waddle my way to the lab where Bruce is. I walk/waddle into the lab, Stark and Bruce look directly at me when I enter.

"Hey mommy." Stark says. I glare at the older man.

"Stark can you give me and Bruce a moment?" I ask him, ignoring his last comment, so he would leave. Stark reluctantly leaves, as he is about to leave the room I stop him.

"If you ever call me mommy again I will kill you." I threaten him. Stark leaves the room and leaves me with Bruce.

"Bruce, I need to ask you something." I say, I find one of the chairs Tony sat in and go to it to sit in it.

"Is it about the birth? It's normal for women to be nervous when they are about to give birth to their first child" He informs me.

"It's got nothing to do with the birth. I wanted to ask you if you'll be the baby's godfather?" I ask. Bruce just looked at me as if I was asking him to cut out my kidney on the spot.

"Are you serious? Natasha two years ago…the other guy, tried to kill you. If Thor hadn't took him down, he would of killed you. He is me and I am him, I…he may hurt the baby." He doesn't look me in the eye.

"Bruce….If something happens to Clint and I, who would be a good person to be the baby's godparent? I'm also trusting you enough to be the doctor who delivers my baby. Bruce, I want you to take care of my baby if Clint and I die." I state. Bruce stands there silently and continues to do some research. He looks up at me and stares directly into my eyes.

"Yeah, I'll be the baby's godparent." When he agrees, a wave of relief washes over me and I smile.

"Thank you, Bruce." I slowly and stiffly get up. Bruce comes over to me and helps me up. I smile at him again.

"Have you and Clint think up any names?" " Bruce asks me about his godson or goddaughter.

"A couple." I only say that and I leave.

…

"The baby is due any day now and you're leaving on a mission?" I ask, no emotion in my voice.

"Nat, I'll be gone two days and then I'll be back. Trust me, the baby is due on the 9th it's the 5th I have 4 days." Clint stops his packing, sits down next to me and grabs my hand.

"Nat, I'll be there I'm not going to miss the birth of our baby." Clint assures me.

"You better not." I say as he gets up. He turns around and looks at me.

"Tasha, I know you're scared. But don't worry I'll be there." Clint smiles at me.

"Clint, I'm not scared. I just want you to be there. I mean you've always been there for me. When you made a second choice on my life when I was 15. When you saved me from Paulo in Barcelona from being raped and killed when I was 16. You came to me when I was upset about you might leave SHIELD when I was 17. You buried me out of the rubble in Marseilles and we made love when I was 18. Budapest when I was 20. Saving my sanity when I worked for Stark when I was 21. Helping me with Loki in The Battle of Manhattan when I was 23. Being accepting when I told you I was pregnant when I was 24 and now I want you to be there during our baby being born when I'm 25." I hadn't prepared a speech, but it jus came out.

"Tasha….In 10 years I haven't abandoned you. What makes you think I won't be there." Clint said.

"Alright. As always I trust you." I smile. Clint smiles back and touches his lips to mine. I trust him when he says he'll be there for the birth. I hope he will be there.

…..

I waddle down stairs to the gym in my black maternity boat-neck jersey tunic and black leggings to go talk to Steve. I walk into the gym to find Steve beating on a punching bag.

"Hi Steve." I say as I walk into the gym. Steve stops and looks at me.

"Hello Ma'am." He smiles at me. I waddle my way to Steve.

"Let's talk shall we?" I ask him.

"Sure, shall we go somewhere more comfortable?' Steve asks.

"No it's fine here." With a lot of difficulty I sit on the ground. Steve sits across from me. It's silent for a while, I think about something to talk about, until I look at the punching bag.

"Did you know when I was 17 years old Clint almost left SHIELD so he could live a better life with his first wife?" I ask him, I usually don't share personal stories but for this one time I felt as if I could.

"No I didn't" He responds, I smile.

"I was told by His ex-wife, Bobbi. I hated her, she treated me like a child and she often would talk to me about spending too much time with Clint. Anyway when I heard this from Bobbi and not Clint, it made me even more mad and so I went to the gym in the SHIELD headquarters and I punched a punching bag from 9:30am to about 3:00pm. Clint started to get worried and came down to find me, he did. I had hurt my hand, he tended to it and we talked. Later that night Bobbi left him…I don't know why I'm telling you this, there is no relevance really. I never told anyone this….I don't know I guess I trust you." I ramble, Steve smiles

"Thank you Ma'am." Steve kinda laughs.

"Steve, the real reason I'm down here is because well…I want you to be my baby's godfather. Bruce is the other godfather. I trust you enough to take care of my baby if Clint and I died. Steve will you be the baby's godfather?" I ask. Steve hesitates.

"I will ma'am." Steve responds.

"Thank you." I smile

"No, thank you." His smile widens. I'm about to get up.

"Oh here ma'am, let me help you up." Steve springs up and helps me up.

"Thanks Steve, also call me Natasha." I say as Steve helps me up.

"Steve." I stop.

"Yes Natasha?" He asks. I sit there my mouth hanging open my breaths quiet and quick.

"My water broke." My eyes wide my mouth still hanging open.

…..

My contractions were 7 minutes apart. Everyone had been called back to the tower. Bruce was in the medical wing getting prepared for the birth and I was already in a hospital gown. I sit on the adjustable chair…bed….thingy. Steve is at my side holding my hand. I feel pain growing, I start to hyperventilate and then I scream through my clenched teeth. The pain dies down, I continue to breath heavily.

"Where's Clint?" I ask.

"He's on his way back from Montreal, he should be here in 4 hours."

"Oh God!" I yell as I feel another contraction coming.

"Natasha, Clint's gonna get here anytime now and he'll be here before the baby is born I promise." Steve talks me through this contraction.

"He better be." I clench my teeth as another contraction comes.

"Ok, You're dialled enough to start pushing." Bruce says. I shake my head.

"I am not going to…" I'm cut off by another contraction

"-to push until Clint get here." I manage get out during the contraction.

"Natasha, if you don't start to push. You and the baby's life could be in danger." Bruce informs me. I nod, I'm upset but I don't cry. I start to push. It's painful. In my whole life I've never experienced this kind of pain.

"Ok, Natasha push." Bruce says to me. I push, I clench my teeth and I yell. I don't know how long I had to push. I just wanted Clint to be there, holding my hand.

"How…long have I been pushing?" I ask, exhausted.

"About 2 and a half hours." Steve responds, still holding my hand but now sitting down.

"Don't worry Natasha, just a couple more pushes and the baby will be out. I can see the head. Now push." Bruce tells me. I push holding onto Steve's hand with both of mine.

"Ok one more push." Bruce says. It was almost if on cue, because as soon as I was about to push Clint rushed through the door.

"WHERE THE HELL WHERE YOU?" I yell at him. Clint runs to me and takes Steve's spot, holding my hand.

"Sorry babe, The baby is 3 days early who can blame me?" He asks.

"I can, You said you would be home before the baby was born." I say, my teeth clenched.

"Natasha, you really need to push." Bruce interrupts us.

"Ok Tash, once more, you can do this." Clint kisses me on my forehead. I push once more and with that a cry fills the room. That was it, the baby was born. Both me and Clint smile, we look at each other. Clint presses his lips to mine and moves my neck length hair behind my ear. Bruce comes back from cleaning the baby and hands it to me.

"It's a boy." Bruce says as he hands it to me.

"A boy…" I sigh. I move over and Clint lays next to me.

"So what will the name be?" Bruce asks a birth certificate in hand.

"Archer Phillip Barton." I say, Clint smiles and kisses me on the forehead again.

After 5 minutes of Clint, Archer, and I being alone the rest of the crew walks in to say hello to the new member.

"So whats the baby Hawk's name?" Stark asks

"His name is Archer." I answer. Steve picks Archer up and holds him and hands him to Bruce, Archer goes around the circle until he reaches me again.

"Can I have a moment alone with the new parents?" Bruce asks. Thor, Jane, Pepper, Stark and Steve leave the room. Archer now sits in Clint's arm.

"Natasha, Clint. Natasha can still have children. However if Natasha gets pregnant again, there could be a chance her and the baby wouldn't live." Bruce tells us.

"What should we do Banner?" Clint asks

"I suggest, as your doctor and as your guy's friend that Natasha has her tubes tied." Bruce suggests.

"Discuss it, when you make up your minds let me know and I'll get it set up…at an actual hospital." Bruce leaves us.

"Lets not talk about it now." I suggest as I take Archer back in my arms. Clint put his arm around me and watches Archer slightly flailed his arms about. Archer was perfect.

"What am I going to do? I still need to wipe out my ledger." I look sadly at Archer.

"Tash, I think you have." Clint says, I look at him, I lean against him, a wave of anxiety and many other emotions passes over me. That was it, after 10 years I had wiped out my ledger.

…..

I place Archer in his cherry wood crib. Archer extends his hand to me, I follow his actions. He grabs my finger and just stares at me. Archer has strength as he clutches my finger. As he drifts off to sleep his grip loosens. I pull my hand away as soon as he falls asleep. I kiss my son on his forehead and I leave his room. I go to the living room of the tower and I sit down on the black leather couch. I sigh, cross my arms over my white cotton tank top and I cross my legs.

"Tash could I talk to you." I jump when I hear Clint's voice.

"You never used to be able to sneak up on me." I laugh, Clint sits down next to me.

"Natasha." Clint says, he never calls me Natasha unless it's a serious matter.

"What is it Clint?" I ask as I pull at my jeans, I know what he's going to talk to me about.

"We need to discuss the surgery." Clint says. I look at him he wears a red t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

"Clint, I'm not sure. I mean it's not a big deal and we don't have that kind of money." I explain.

"It isn't a big deal? Tash if you get pregnant and give birth, you could die. Not just you, but the baby as well." Clint says.

"Clint, that is a concern of mine having another baby and leaving Archer without a mother. But we just don't have the money for the surgery."

"But we do." A voice interrupts. Clint and I turn our heads to find Stark and Pepper behind us.

"No, Stark. We're already free-loading in the Stark tower, you paid for the baby furniture, we can't have you pay for my surgery as well." I protest, I stand up.

"Natasha, it's no problem. You don't have the money and you're family." Pepper smiled as she put her hands on her baby bump. It was settled Pepper and Tony were going to pay for the surgery.

….

A month later I was having my surgery. I sat in my hospital room with Clint.

"Your surgery is in 30 minutes, how are you feeling?" Clint asks me.

"Clint, I've given birth, I was almost killed in Budapest, and many other things. I feel fine for this simple procedure." I thought it was funny, Clint a master assassin so worried of me having a surgery.

"True. I'll be there once you get out." Clint promises. I press my lips to his forehead.

"Thanks babe. Who has the baby? Steve has finally gotten the guts to go to England to visit Peggy. Stark and Pepper are in Malibu. Bruce is with Stark. Thor is off planet and Jane is in New Mexico." I'm curious and he'd better of gotten a good babysitter.

"Um….Fury is with him." Clint confesses, I just look at him

"Fury…As in Nick Fury, Director of SHILED?" I confirm

"Yeah, he's the only one who knows about Archer being our child and he said yes." Clint tells me.

"Ok Mr. Barton, you need to leave." The dark skinned nurse says.

"Alright, I love you. I'll see you later." Clint kisses my forehead and leaves the room.

"Alright honey, let's get you prepped for your surgery." The nurse named Rosa smiles as me.

"Thanks, Rosa. Hey do you think it's possible for someone who has lived through many life threatening situations could die during a surgery?" I ask, Rosa laughs.

"Honey, I swear to you nothing will happen and you'll get to see your baby again." Rosa says. I get ready for my surgery feeling confidant that I'll live.

…

I went into surgery in the afternoon and I was out of the hospital out by the evening. I find Clint in the waiting area.

"Hey, you." I say as I walk up to him.

"Hey." He smiles and gets up. I grab his hand as we walk out of the hospital.

We got home by 7pm and when we got home we heard a voice talking. Clint and I, slowly and quietly made our way to Archer's room. There Fury sat in the rocking chair Archer in one arm and in Fury's hand is a book.

"We're finally watching our movie.

Popcorn's in the microwave._Beep._

Oh shit. Goddamn it. You gotta be kidding.

Come on, go the fuck back to sleep."

Clint and I stand at the doorway, barely containing our laughter. Fury looks up, sets the book down and put Archer in the crib.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Fury says as he leaves the room.

"Ok I'm going to bed, coming?" Clint asks me.

"I'll be there in a bit." I say. Clint kisses me on the lips and takes off to our room. I walk into Archer's room knowing full well he's not fully asleep. I hear Archer wail a tiny bit. I walk over to the crib and pick up Archer.

"Hey Archer." I say, I don't speak to him in a baby voice. The baby voice didn't really come to me when speaking to little kids.

"You know, I never thought I would be a mother but here I am feeding you, changing you, bathing you, and well….loving you. I always thought love was for children, I have never been more wrong in my life." I kiss his cheek.

"Baby, I love you." I say as I put Archer back in the crib.

"Archer, I hope you have a better childhood then I did or your father did and ohh boy, you will have a better childhood. I promise you, me and your father will be there throughout your whole life." I stroke his cheek and I leave his room and I go back to my room. Clint sits on the bed.

"He asleep?" Clint asks

"Yeah he is." I sit down on the bed and take off my shoes. Clint sits behind me, moves my hair and begins to kiss my neck.

"Good." He says in-between kisses. I get up and face him, I cup his face and I begin to kiss him. I straddle Clint and we begin to kiss more passionately. It's the first time we have slept together since Archer was born. Clint spoons me as he sleeps, I love the feel of his arms around me I feel safe with him that close to me.

I owe Clint everything, he had saved my life countless times and chose not to kill me, but save me. In return I loved him, married him, and gave him a child. My life wasn't that fulfilling, I'll never be remember in history, but I was loved and I loved in return.

**Author's note: You guys what can I say? Thank you so much I never imagined it would get this far and it's one of my most popular stories. I'm sad that I didn't make it longer but I may do a sequel…possibly two. But holy, thank you all so much. Oh and by the way the book Fury is reading to Archer is ****Go the Fuck to Sleep**** and Samuel L Jackson does the audio reading of it (go check it out on youtube, it's really funny) Anyway Thank you all once more, this means so much to me. You guys are awesome! ~Tamora Sky. **


	11. Author's Note

**Author's note: Guys chapter 1 of the sequel is up, if your interested feel free to go read it. The story is called "Haunted" **


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